What Can I Do To Get Back My Ex Boyfriend
Do you feel like everything you try to get your ex back just pushes them even further away? Would this be describing your current situation as spot on? Do you find yourself running that same question over in your head "What can I do to get back my ex boyfriend"? I thought I'd share some advise with you which you could hopefully put to great use when trying to get back together with your ex.
It goes without saying that you are serious and determined about salvaging your relationship and maybe seeking a fresh start with your ex, this is what possibly led you to an article such as this in the first place. But perhaps at this point your going about things the wrong way by feeling far too anxious about getting your ex back, this will lead to you maybe behaving in an incorrect manner and ultimately driving your ex away even further. It is general in human nature to go against this type of pressure. And fighting against such a force will only make matters worse for you.
Do you find that you are calling him at every opportunity you get, sending him email none stop, or maybe bombarding him with text messages? Have you made it your goal to make him take pity on you? If you find that you are doing these sort of things, stop! If you find yourself wondering " What can I do to get back my ex boyfriend", then you need to put an end to these things right now.
So What can I do to get back my ex boyfriend? Follow this strategy instead.
By following this strategy you will need to approach from a different angle completely. You can make a good start by seizing all contact with them for the time being, try to do your own thing and be your own person. Once all communication between the two of you has stopped, you can forget about all the relationship issues you may have by focusing on some goals and personal achievements you may wish to accomplish. No doubt this will be a challenge for you and it will require a lot of hard work to prevent you from following the same path you seem to be stuck on.
Whilst you are taking the time out to do this your ex will experience a change of feelings for you, since you are no longer spending all your time going after him. You may appear secretive in some ways to him, since he has no idea of what it is you are getting up to or any of your feelings for him. This trick can actually work very well in your favor. Your ex could possibly be in the position where he has grown to actually miss you. It is almost impossible to be in this sort of position when you are constantly smothering him.
You must always keep in mind that the fundamentals of this strategy and ultimately mending your relationship is to move in the same flow as human nature rather than working against it. . If you are wondering " What can I do to get back my ex boyfriend", you should know by now how easy it is to slip into these common mistakes and also how you can overcome them by avoiding to make them in the first place. Once you have used the idea of this basic strategy by giving them some room to breathe you can allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.
Just take one step at a time and play it cool by not smothering him. By allowing that time apart and remaining secretive he will come to terms with why he loved you in the begriming. Play hard to get (but not to much!) and wait for him to make his move first, and you won't go wrong. And then you can finally put an end to that burning question "What can I do to get back my ex boyfriend"
Well i hope that helped a few of my female readers. As always i will leave an email address below incase anyone would like a bit of help of maybe just to chat. I got all the time in the world to help out a friend.
dinkmon360@hotmail.com
smiling for ya
Dink
Wednesday 25 November 2009
Thursday 19 November 2009
Recipe For Moles, Warts & Growths
Hey all, Now i know this blog is generally about exploring methods on how we can get our Ex's back so i do honestly feel just a little bit cheeky for adding this post in. However, since we always try to encourage the readers of this blog to open their minds and try to see things in a positive way I'm sure that most will forgive me. And for those that don't......... I'm sorry?.
For i have done my homework and found found a method that does not include any of the above!
Now i cannot vouch for this method as i personally myself have not tried or tested it. As a matter of fact, I'm quite happy with my mildly bumpy skin and i wish that you were too! no? read on then my friend.
Although i stated in the above that i have not tried this. It does not mean you cannot try this risk free! I was viewing this guys page and if you'll pay close attention to the picture below you'll notice that i found.... wait for it....
Now i know that it's only half the picture here (will blame my intellectually slow PC for that) but it managed to salvage the most important part which i wanted to show you. That's right, this is a money back guarantee product!
Simply meaning, you have 60 days to try this and see the results. And if your not satisfied they'll give you a full refund. Every single penny back in your purse. how good is that!
I stumbled onto a way where you can get a nice discount on this product!
With all apologies out the way we should move on. Now i hope all of my readers are blessed with the gods gift of having soft silky skin. But we're not all as lucky as that and for those of us who don't it can be a real nightmare! I know certain troubles just as well as any of you, my face isn't quite as smooth as (and because i don't want to associate mine or anyone Else's face for that matter with a babies bottom we'll use the term...) a silver shiny spoon. And let me tell you now, that's about as much fun as a kite with no wind. Now for those of you who don't have the nicest skin or have moles, growths etc and are fine with it then i truly am happy for you. I think it would be complete bliss to live in a world where these things didn't matter as much. But I'm afraid we don't live in that sort of world, now days everyone is obsessed with the way they look and how they appear to others. With that said, having rough skin is a common problem with people from all around the globe, so please don't think your alone however big your problem may appear. And it can lead to all sort of problems. I don't really mean health care so much there. I am referring more to along the lines of name calling and all sorts of bullying, especially with the younger generation. Now I'm sure the younger ladies will agree with me when i say " when you look good, you feel good"? (hence why it's essential for them to occupy the bathroom hours at a time).
With all the torment and social pain mounting up it can really lead to a lot of frustration.
If you do happen to find this as a common problem with yourself then I'm sure you know what it's like when you go to see your pharmacist and receive your prescription only to discover that it doesn't actually work. Or if it did work, the problem has returned upon stopping treatment to neutralize the problem. And since money is usually the issue in today's world then all the creams and ointments etc you feel you have to buy can really add up to an unbelievably expensive amount.
Perhaps then you consider having your mole/wart etc surgically removed? That is a process that could end up costing you thousands! Is it really worth having to take a second mortgage out on your home to have whatever growth you may have removed that way? Unless it's to save a life then i personally i would never consider having surgery. I'm not really squeamish, but I'd rather avoid having a sharp tool slicing into my body.... each to their own i guess.
After that overly long depressive passage you may be slightly delighted that i have found an alternative way to solve these problems! and this is what i really want to talk to you about.
For i have done my homework and found found a method that does not include any of the above!
Now i cannot vouch for this method as i personally myself have not tried or tested it. As a matter of fact, I'm quite happy with my mildly bumpy skin and i wish that you were too! no? read on then my friend.
Although i stated in the above that i have not tried this. It does not mean you cannot try this risk free! I was viewing this guys page and if you'll pay close attention to the picture below you'll notice that i found.... wait for it....
Now i know that it's only half the picture here (will blame my intellectually slow PC for that) but it managed to salvage the most important part which i wanted to show you. That's right, this is a money back guarantee product!Simply meaning, you have 60 days to try this and see the results. And if your not satisfied they'll give you a full refund. Every single penny back in your purse. how good is that!
Now Like i said, i have not actually tried this product myself, i don't feel as if i really have the need to since I'm the kinda guy whose statement is " it's whats on the inside that counts" ... yea i know that classic ugly man saying but we all have our traits i suppose. I really wish that you guys don't feel as if you need a product like this. But then again we all like to feel good about ourselves, and if good looks are the way that you think would make you feel good about yourself. Then you can read this guys page here. He goes into a lot more depth about his method of clear skin. You can also view testimonials from his previous customers.
But wait, it gets better. And this is where i get really excited...
I stumbled onto a way where you can get a nice discount on this product!
And it's so simple that anyone can do it. I can't stress enough just how simple it is. This is one of the major reasons why i decided to promote this guys product...
The trick is this.... If you go to this guys site and read all the way to the bottom.. which i should imagine for those of you who are interested in this product then you'd like to do so anyway..
If what this guy says interests you so much that you decide to purchase his product then just hold up. Scroll back up to the top of the page and highlight the cross in the top right hand corner (you know, the one that allows you to escape from boring pages that you come across) with your cursor and an option will appear where you can talk to a computer generated agent (don't get scared when i say agent.... these people ain't even real) it will then set up a chat box with an option to get a $10 discount!.... And since I'm all about saving you your hard earned cash then i think a $10 discount really speaks for itself.
Since you are pretty much finished reading this post then ill assume that i cannot persuade you to realize that you don't need these sort of products and that your beautiful the way you are then you can hop on over to this guys page by clicking on the banner below
Since i always want whats best for my readers, if you do happen to purchase this product. Please come back and let us know if it worked for you. If it did not work then make sure you apply for your 60 day full refund. If that happened to be the case then please come back and tell me as i will delete this whole post since i refuse to promote anything that is false or misleading.
Will be looking forward to your (hopefully successful) results
Any problems then please don't hesitate to email me on
Rooting for ya
Dink
Wednesday 18 November 2009
Overcoming The FaceBook Problem
Hey folks, Just a quick 1 today. I recently got an email from a reader who needed a bit of advice. Maybe there are some people who are in a similar situation? Anyway lets read his story and explore a good course of action we could take. Now since i don't like to release ANY information regarding my readers unless they specifically request i do so, we are going to change his name and call him ummm...... Tom!
Tom recently got dumped by his girlfriend about 8 months into their relationship. Her reason was that she just wanted to explore different options in her life and try a different path. (Not the most graceful reason but i guess it's better than the classic "it's not you, it's me!" crap that seems to get thrown around a lot these days). From what i can make out, Toms girlfriend still wanted to be friends after the break-up. Even though this meant that he still got to speak and keep in touch with his EX it also worked as a double edge sword, meaning that everything that this poor guy has lost is now being shoved in his face. Maybe her intentions were good, i don't know. But receiving all this contact from his ex was just a constant reminder of what he had lost.
Tom realized this by himself and took the stand of initiating somewhat of a no contact policy... probably the best thing he could have done in my opinion. Despite his actions Tom was still receiving text messages, most of which were totally unrelated to the break-up. As an example and this being my personal favourite, 1 message said " my mom thought you were a really great guy". This was the last thing that Tom needed. Upon receiving these text messages he did fight the urge and simply ignored them. And that's sometimes a hard thing to do so..... Thumbs up!
Although now he is faced with a new problem. It would seem that his Ex is attempting to add him as a friend to her facebook account. This is where Tom contacted me asking for a bit of advice on what to do. He really doesn't want to accept her request and be reminded of all good times which they had once shared that are now gone. But at the same time he doesn't want to appear rude and spiteful. Especially due to the fact that he wants his Ex to come back to him.
So what should Tom do? And i wouldn't say that the answer is simple but i guess that it is straight forward. He cannot give in to what his girlfriend wants. Forgive me if it seems that I'm speaking out of term here but i think Toms girlfriend is just testing his emotions. Perhaps she wants to know that if she pulls hard enough on his strings if he'll go running back. This could likely be the case and as hard as it may be you need to keep a clear head and not get sucked in by it. As cruel to his Ex as it may sound he really does need to choose to ignore her request. By doing so it's cutting off old ties to the past relationship reducing a bit more of that pain and heartbreak.
Now I'm not saying to strip her from his mind completely. After all he wants nothing more than to be back together again with her. But keeping in mind this is a recent break-up and it won't do him any good to keep all those negative feelings fresh in him mind. And by accepting his Ex girlfriends facebook request this is exactly what he is doing. Instead he needs to have a period of time where he won't contacted by his Ex. This is mainly so he has time to emotionally heal but also, it allows time for his girlfriend to come to terms with what she has actually lost and maybe ponder to herself if it was such a good idea to break- up with Tom in the first place.
I see this as a classic step in order to get your Ex back. And i hope that Tom has the best of luck in doing just that! And that he can always count on me and the people from this blog to steer him in the right direction when such hurdles as the above story do crop up. I'd like to thank the individual that Tom represented for allowing me to publish his story on this blog in high hopes that it may help some of you guys. Thank you.
Wanted let you know that i emailed Tom back with the advice that I've shared here today. Just in case you were wonder if i left 1 of my readers hanging.... No Way!
If you have a similar problem to Toms then i hope that the above information could help you in some way. Keep in mind ( and i thought that this pretty obvious but ill tell you anyway) that this applies to not just facebook but to all social networking sites such as myspace, twitter etc. Well that's it from me since this was suppose to be a short message. But also because that I've just dropped sticky toffee pudding down my jeans and have to go and change.
As per usual don't hesitate to contact me if your going through a rough time. Ill always be here to help anyone and listen to them should need it. The address is below:
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com
Will keep it happy for ya
Your friend
Dink
Tom recently got dumped by his girlfriend about 8 months into their relationship. Her reason was that she just wanted to explore different options in her life and try a different path. (Not the most graceful reason but i guess it's better than the classic "it's not you, it's me!" crap that seems to get thrown around a lot these days). From what i can make out, Toms girlfriend still wanted to be friends after the break-up. Even though this meant that he still got to speak and keep in touch with his EX it also worked as a double edge sword, meaning that everything that this poor guy has lost is now being shoved in his face. Maybe her intentions were good, i don't know. But receiving all this contact from his ex was just a constant reminder of what he had lost.
Tom realized this by himself and took the stand of initiating somewhat of a no contact policy... probably the best thing he could have done in my opinion. Despite his actions Tom was still receiving text messages, most of which were totally unrelated to the break-up. As an example and this being my personal favourite, 1 message said " my mom thought you were a really great guy". This was the last thing that Tom needed. Upon receiving these text messages he did fight the urge and simply ignored them. And that's sometimes a hard thing to do so..... Thumbs up!
Although now he is faced with a new problem. It would seem that his Ex is attempting to add him as a friend to her facebook account. This is where Tom contacted me asking for a bit of advice on what to do. He really doesn't want to accept her request and be reminded of all good times which they had once shared that are now gone. But at the same time he doesn't want to appear rude and spiteful. Especially due to the fact that he wants his Ex to come back to him.
So what should Tom do? And i wouldn't say that the answer is simple but i guess that it is straight forward. He cannot give in to what his girlfriend wants. Forgive me if it seems that I'm speaking out of term here but i think Toms girlfriend is just testing his emotions. Perhaps she wants to know that if she pulls hard enough on his strings if he'll go running back. This could likely be the case and as hard as it may be you need to keep a clear head and not get sucked in by it. As cruel to his Ex as it may sound he really does need to choose to ignore her request. By doing so it's cutting off old ties to the past relationship reducing a bit more of that pain and heartbreak.
Now I'm not saying to strip her from his mind completely. After all he wants nothing more than to be back together again with her. But keeping in mind this is a recent break-up and it won't do him any good to keep all those negative feelings fresh in him mind. And by accepting his Ex girlfriends facebook request this is exactly what he is doing. Instead he needs to have a period of time where he won't contacted by his Ex. This is mainly so he has time to emotionally heal but also, it allows time for his girlfriend to come to terms with what she has actually lost and maybe ponder to herself if it was such a good idea to break- up with Tom in the first place.
I see this as a classic step in order to get your Ex back. And i hope that Tom has the best of luck in doing just that! And that he can always count on me and the people from this blog to steer him in the right direction when such hurdles as the above story do crop up. I'd like to thank the individual that Tom represented for allowing me to publish his story on this blog in high hopes that it may help some of you guys. Thank you.
Wanted let you know that i emailed Tom back with the advice that I've shared here today. Just in case you were wonder if i left 1 of my readers hanging.... No Way!
If you have a similar problem to Toms then i hope that the above information could help you in some way. Keep in mind ( and i thought that this pretty obvious but ill tell you anyway) that this applies to not just facebook but to all social networking sites such as myspace, twitter etc. Well that's it from me since this was suppose to be a short message. But also because that I've just dropped sticky toffee pudding down my jeans and have to go and change.
As per usual don't hesitate to contact me if your going through a rough time. Ill always be here to help anyone and listen to them should need it. The address is below:
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com
Will keep it happy for ya
Your friend
Dink
Sunday 15 November 2009
A Video You Need To Watch
If you have fought the hard struggle of reading through some of the long articles that can be found on this blog then perhaps by now your eyes are starting to feel a little tired? That oh-so familiar feeling of drowsiness desperately tugging on them tender eyelids, rendering them powerless to remain fully open? So heavy in one sense, but in another, totally weightless?...
Glad to hear it...... Cos my typing fingers are feeling red raw!
Put the pillow down! I aint skimping out on you just yet. However, instead of reading through a hefty article as long as your favourite liquorish lace (packed with good quality content of course.......... and maybe just a hint of weirdness mixed in there). I thought it would make a change for us to watch a video.
Don't worry, there's no need to rush out and purchase the largest tub of popcorn you could possibly hope to wrap your arms around. The video's quite a short one, you'll be done in next to no time. As short as it may be, there's definitely some very useful info that all my heart broken friends reading this can put into practice when the opportunity presents itself. With the build up ending here, i hope you enjoy and learn something about what this guy is abouts to teach.
Glad to hear it...... Cos my typing fingers are feeling red raw!
Put the pillow down! I aint skimping out on you just yet. However, instead of reading through a hefty article as long as your favourite liquorish lace (packed with good quality content of course.......... and maybe just a hint of weirdness mixed in there). I thought it would make a change for us to watch a video.
Don't worry, there's no need to rush out and purchase the largest tub of popcorn you could possibly hope to wrap your arms around. The video's quite a short one, you'll be done in next to no time. As short as it may be, there's definitely some very useful info that all my heart broken friends reading this can put into practice when the opportunity presents itself. With the build up ending here, i hope you enjoy and learn something about what this guy is abouts to teach.
Click here to jump straight to T' Dubs page!
If you do happen to have the eyesight of a mole, then please do not hesitate to contact me asking for the link where you can watch it full screen and i will happily comply.
Finished? hopefully you thought it was good value for your time and perhaps found the information to serve as a good stepping stone to get you on the right track in order to get your ex back.
It would be even better if you were filled with that giddy feeling of anticipation you experience just before you get what you want. That rare ecstatic feeling in which you have to struggle to contain before it just seems to burst right out of you. I say this because if you truly believe that getting your Ex back is the 1 thing that could give you that refreshing feeling, then T'Dub is just the guy to help you achieve it. This guy has been playing the role of cupids assistant for probably much longer than he cares to remember. T'Dub specializes in tried and tested methods that have proved to be successful and helped 1000's when trying to win the Ex back. He knows exactly what strings to pluck on that metaphorical harp of love.
But please, don't take my word for it. Click Here to have a look at T'Dubs page where you can read a bit more into it. You don't have to commit yourself to anything. Just simply go and see what this guy has to offer. There is also another video on his page which gives a few more tips for you to keep in mind and could benefit from.
Well this post was supposed to be a small one, a little easier on the eyes. Scrolling back to the top it would seem that ship has sailed. Although i hoped you enjoyed reading, and the video..... which was the main point! And once again, if you'd like to talk about your own situation or anything else for that matter don't hesitate to email me..... you should have the address by now but for those of you who don't...
Thanks for reading.
Smiling for ya.
Dink
Thursday 12 November 2009
Different Stages Of A Relationship
Many people, never actually think ahead when considering the different stages of a relationship. We are all just to familiar with the present and whats going on around us. If this happens to be the case, then thinking whats next to come in your relationship is probably the last thing on your mind right?... Well let us joy ride in Dr. Who's Tardis for just a moment so we can actually see whats to come around that joyful corner of love....
If your sat there thinking "ummm... hello ... Dink... This is the Get Your Ex Back blog.... I'M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!" then your not alone, cos i also thought that. Snappsies.... But since the whole idea of this article is to focus on thinking towards the future as such perhaps you'd like bookmark this page so that we can return to it once we have successfully got you back together with your Ex.
Now I'm just going to go through the basic stages of a relationship and touch upon the points where it can all go wrong. Now i understand that everybodys different and some stages may not even apply to you. But chances are that some of what your abouts to read will be relevant to you and hopefully should be of some use. Please don't get discouraged by reading this, the whole point of this article is so we can try to correct these stages before they even happen. After all.... getting your heart broken is about as much fun as stepping in a deep puddle, so lets try to avoid it altogether.
Lets go to the First Stage... If you've just started a new relationship or happened to get back with your Ex after a break up then this is where you should be now. It's commonly known as the HONEYMOON PERIOD. It's the most exciting because everything is fun and fresh and is all new to you and your partner. Your allowed to go on fancy dates all dressed up in your dads shirt.... providing your male..... If you don't happen to be male.... then I'd strictly advise NOT dressing in dads shirt... nothing good will come of it!
And no matter where you are, your both on your best politest behaviour since you want to impress the other person. All of their flaws are overlooked, in fact sometimes you may even find them cute. Oh yes, everything is as grand as it could be, everything is such an adventure to the both of you. Like a Summer walk in a park full of daisies.
As we move on to the Second Stage, this is where it could make or break a relationship, the penny could land either way. Many couples crumble in this stage and things sadly start to fall apart. This stage is whats known as the POWER STRUGGLE stage. All the freshness from your relationship starts to wear off. The fun and excitement has seemed to have disappeared, like a grey rain cloud hovering over that picnic you had nicely set out not so long ago. This usually happens sometime between 6 months and a year of the relationship and finding your way off that rocky road can be a difficult struggle indeed.
Both of you want to have your needs met, and starting to notice where the other person is failing to do that. Negative personalities start to show and suddenly your love and lust for one another has dropped like a kite with no wind. If this seems familiar... don't panic, simply take a step back and view the situation in a different light. It's highly probable that the flaws your finding in your partner are also flaws that you are guilty of yourself.
If you can manage to get through this stage, then your relationship has a much better chance of surviving. There will be sunshine and daffodils once more. Unfortunately many couples try to change their partner in this second stage and that's where things start to fall apart and ultimately leads to break ups. The key to surviving this stage to keep the honest communications flowing. Try to be understanding, realize the fact that you also have irritating flaws. After all, no one is perfect, not even someone as awesome as me!
This is where you can continue to the Third Stage, where you hopefully should be understand that you can't change your partner and you stop trying to do so... Now throw away that hypnosis CD!!! If you got to this stage by following the previous steps then have a cookie and give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it! Don't stand there like a deer in the head lights too long, we've
got a little further to go.
For this stage you will have to open your mind a little and really learn how to be content and at peace with your partner. Find what it is that they have to offer and try to take care of yourself in the process. If the Power Struggle stage ended bad for you then this is likely to be the place where the whole relationship is to crash and burn. Since that's not the route we want to be taking then focus a little more on the whole communication process...... make sure it's honest!
Now this Third Stage is the Stage Of Commitment. And it's where you've now realized you cannot change your partner but despite all that you still struggle hard and make it work! You both know you want to be together. For you see now you should be at a place where you no longer need all the flowers and romantic walks in the park ( you should still want them, but not necessarily need them ). But just the company of the other person is more than enough to make your relationship flourish. If this is pretty much the case in your situation then i think it's high time to move on and start a new partnership formed on the love in which you share for each other.
Many couples bounce back and forth between stages 1 and 2 before actually getting to that Stage Of Commitment. But like i said, no ones perfect and long as you get to that happier place in the end then no more can be expected of you. Always be free to take a moment to think how you can make this work and be sure to give twice as much as what you take in return. By doing this mixed in with a little bit of your own initiative then I'm sure you'll be fine.
Well i hope that this article was of some help to you and that you managed to take something from it. If nothing else, at least you a little more wiser on what the basic stages to a relationship are hopefully found some useful ideas on how to get through them stages until you are both content and happy with one another.
Got any questions? perhaps you'd just like to talk? feel free to drop me an email whenever you like. I'm always here to help
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com
Will keep smiling for ya
Dink
If your sat there thinking "ummm... hello ... Dink... This is the Get Your Ex Back blog.... I'M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!" then your not alone, cos i also thought that. Snappsies.... But since the whole idea of this article is to focus on thinking towards the future as such perhaps you'd like bookmark this page so that we can return to it once we have successfully got you back together with your Ex.
Now I'm just going to go through the basic stages of a relationship and touch upon the points where it can all go wrong. Now i understand that everybodys different and some stages may not even apply to you. But chances are that some of what your abouts to read will be relevant to you and hopefully should be of some use. Please don't get discouraged by reading this, the whole point of this article is so we can try to correct these stages before they even happen. After all.... getting your heart broken is about as much fun as stepping in a deep puddle, so lets try to avoid it altogether.
Lets go to the First Stage... If you've just started a new relationship or happened to get back with your Ex after a break up then this is where you should be now. It's commonly known as the HONEYMOON PERIOD. It's the most exciting because everything is fun and fresh and is all new to you and your partner. Your allowed to go on fancy dates all dressed up in your dads shirt.... providing your male..... If you don't happen to be male.... then I'd strictly advise NOT dressing in dads shirt... nothing good will come of it!
And no matter where you are, your both on your best politest behaviour since you want to impress the other person. All of their flaws are overlooked, in fact sometimes you may even find them cute. Oh yes, everything is as grand as it could be, everything is such an adventure to the both of you. Like a Summer walk in a park full of daisies.
As we move on to the Second Stage, this is where it could make or break a relationship, the penny could land either way. Many couples crumble in this stage and things sadly start to fall apart. This stage is whats known as the POWER STRUGGLE stage. All the freshness from your relationship starts to wear off. The fun and excitement has seemed to have disappeared, like a grey rain cloud hovering over that picnic you had nicely set out not so long ago. This usually happens sometime between 6 months and a year of the relationship and finding your way off that rocky road can be a difficult struggle indeed.
Both of you want to have your needs met, and starting to notice where the other person is failing to do that. Negative personalities start to show and suddenly your love and lust for one another has dropped like a kite with no wind. If this seems familiar... don't panic, simply take a step back and view the situation in a different light. It's highly probable that the flaws your finding in your partner are also flaws that you are guilty of yourself.
If you can manage to get through this stage, then your relationship has a much better chance of surviving. There will be sunshine and daffodils once more. Unfortunately many couples try to change their partner in this second stage and that's where things start to fall apart and ultimately leads to break ups. The key to surviving this stage to keep the honest communications flowing. Try to be understanding, realize the fact that you also have irritating flaws. After all, no one is perfect, not even someone as awesome as me!
This is where you can continue to the Third Stage, where you hopefully should be understand that you can't change your partner and you stop trying to do so... Now throw away that hypnosis CD!!! If you got to this stage by following the previous steps then have a cookie and give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it! Don't stand there like a deer in the head lights too long, we've
got a little further to go.
For this stage you will have to open your mind a little and really learn how to be content and at peace with your partner. Find what it is that they have to offer and try to take care of yourself in the process. If the Power Struggle stage ended bad for you then this is likely to be the place where the whole relationship is to crash and burn. Since that's not the route we want to be taking then focus a little more on the whole communication process...... make sure it's honest!
Now this Third Stage is the Stage Of Commitment. And it's where you've now realized you cannot change your partner but despite all that you still struggle hard and make it work! You both know you want to be together. For you see now you should be at a place where you no longer need all the flowers and romantic walks in the park ( you should still want them, but not necessarily need them ). But just the company of the other person is more than enough to make your relationship flourish. If this is pretty much the case in your situation then i think it's high time to move on and start a new partnership formed on the love in which you share for each other.
Many couples bounce back and forth between stages 1 and 2 before actually getting to that Stage Of Commitment. But like i said, no ones perfect and long as you get to that happier place in the end then no more can be expected of you. Always be free to take a moment to think how you can make this work and be sure to give twice as much as what you take in return. By doing this mixed in with a little bit of your own initiative then I'm sure you'll be fine.
Well i hope that this article was of some help to you and that you managed to take something from it. If nothing else, at least you a little more wiser on what the basic stages to a relationship are hopefully found some useful ideas on how to get through them stages until you are both content and happy with one another.
Got any questions? perhaps you'd just like to talk? feel free to drop me an email whenever you like. I'm always here to help
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com
Will keep smiling for ya
Dink
Wednesday 11 November 2009
Dealing with your friends
Having your friends beside you after a break up can either be the golden crutch of relief, just the thing you were looking for out of that metaphorical survival kit. Or Perhaps you see them as the biggest hindrance that could have possibly come along a this point in your life, Much like that auntie with the moustache that always expects a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe. However your friends come across really depends on their own behaviour and attitude towards life.
Regardless of how your friends act on a day to day basis, they obviously mean you their best intentions otherwise they wouldn't have invested their time to come and see how you were feeling. So stop and consider that thought for just a moment ( not too long tho as we've got a lot to cover! ) Fully depending on what stage your going through with your break up, maybe you don't want your friends constantly hanging on your arm draggin you to the ball game, or the whole "lets go bowling" suggestion. Perhaps you just want to stew in your own misery for a while? if that's the case then that's just fine. Sometimes it's good to close yourself off from the rest of the world for a SHORT amount of time so you can compose yourself, get things into perspective. But what do you do then? you have to pull back those curtains and let MR. Sun in at some point right?..... that's right! and the sooner you do the sooner you can start getting your life back together and cutting all these overwhelming problems that lurk over you into manageable bite size chunks.
What is a friend? A Friend is the person that cares for you the most, Someone to rely on and will always be there for you in your time of need. You should always trusts your friends. after all, you were one who made that judgment of character and made the effort to become friends in the first place right? It would serve you tremendously well to cast your mind back and try to remember the actual reason that made you become friends in the 1st place. If you never lose that reason, you'll never lose your friends.
How can your friends be there for you? I guess the answer on this 1 varies a little depending on what suits your needs. By asking them to respect your wishes whilst walking down this bumpy road i don't think you'll be going far wrong. And since their your friend I'm sure they'd be more than happy to accommodate for what you need them for the most. It's more than likely that 1 day your going to have to be the 1 to support them for 1 reason or another.
What does your friend need from you? More than anything your friends needs your honest feedback. When going through a tragic time such as breaking up your emotions can be all over the place... it's 1 hell of a roller coaster. It doesn't matter if you've been friends for decades, upon going through these tragic times you become a lot harder to read, there is no unspoken bond between you anymore. What you friend may be thinking about you could be the complete opposite to the way your actually feeling. Since that could very well be the case i think it's important to let them know the changes your going through. Explain to them how their going wrong when trying to make you feel better. The reason their going wrong is probably down to the fact that they are treating you like your old self and the thought that your a little more fragile than usual hasn't even crossed their mind.
They honestly mean well, so don't chop their head off when they come out with the most inconsiderate remarks such as: - "Your better off without them" or the classic "plenty of fish in the sea"....( as subtle as a bull in a china shop ). Since this blog is titles Get Your Ex Back we really don't want to be exploring down that road. Even though their not fully considering your feelings, their only trying to relate to what they think is best for you, and sometimes......... they get it completely wrong! Try to explain to them calmly that you don't want to move on and that you really want to work on a way to bring your ex back to you. Now i know 1st hand that some friends can be pretty dense so if that fails then try to put a little distance between the two of you without completely barricading them out.
In conclusion I'd like to say that your friends are a big part of your life. They've changed the way you think and act..... hopefully for the better. So try to let them in on your problems and let them be there for you. Shutting your friends out completely solves nothing, it will only raise question as to whether their your friends or not and will generally make plenty of your every day situations awkward for you and them. It will sometimes cause a negative effect towards your other friends provide you socialize in a group. Try to be the bigger person by ignoring some of the selfish comments they come out with, after all perhaps they were aimed at you with the original motive to help you feel better. If it turns out they didn't help you in the slightest don't be afraid to tell them and actually point out to them where they are going wrong. Chances are that it was an honest stupid mistake and that they can correct their tone of manner. And most importantly....... Never forget who your friends are!
Well that's all for now, I hope that this article has helped you a little. Even if it's only help just a tinsy winsy bit.... then I'm proud to say Ive done my job.
Should you ever need to talk, I'm always here for ya ( unless I'm really really tired... GRRRRRR)
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com
Til next time
Your good friend
Dink
Regardless of how your friends act on a day to day basis, they obviously mean you their best intentions otherwise they wouldn't have invested their time to come and see how you were feeling. So stop and consider that thought for just a moment ( not too long tho as we've got a lot to cover! ) Fully depending on what stage your going through with your break up, maybe you don't want your friends constantly hanging on your arm draggin you to the ball game, or the whole "lets go bowling" suggestion. Perhaps you just want to stew in your own misery for a while? if that's the case then that's just fine. Sometimes it's good to close yourself off from the rest of the world for a SHORT amount of time so you can compose yourself, get things into perspective. But what do you do then? you have to pull back those curtains and let MR. Sun in at some point right?..... that's right! and the sooner you do the sooner you can start getting your life back together and cutting all these overwhelming problems that lurk over you into manageable bite size chunks.
What is a friend? A Friend is the person that cares for you the most, Someone to rely on and will always be there for you in your time of need. You should always trusts your friends. after all, you were one who made that judgment of character and made the effort to become friends in the first place right? It would serve you tremendously well to cast your mind back and try to remember the actual reason that made you become friends in the 1st place. If you never lose that reason, you'll never lose your friends.
How can your friends be there for you? I guess the answer on this 1 varies a little depending on what suits your needs. By asking them to respect your wishes whilst walking down this bumpy road i don't think you'll be going far wrong. And since their your friend I'm sure they'd be more than happy to accommodate for what you need them for the most. It's more than likely that 1 day your going to have to be the 1 to support them for 1 reason or another.
What does your friend need from you? More than anything your friends needs your honest feedback. When going through a tragic time such as breaking up your emotions can be all over the place... it's 1 hell of a roller coaster. It doesn't matter if you've been friends for decades, upon going through these tragic times you become a lot harder to read, there is no unspoken bond between you anymore. What you friend may be thinking about you could be the complete opposite to the way your actually feeling. Since that could very well be the case i think it's important to let them know the changes your going through. Explain to them how their going wrong when trying to make you feel better. The reason their going wrong is probably down to the fact that they are treating you like your old self and the thought that your a little more fragile than usual hasn't even crossed their mind.
They honestly mean well, so don't chop their head off when they come out with the most inconsiderate remarks such as: - "Your better off without them" or the classic "plenty of fish in the sea"....( as subtle as a bull in a china shop ). Since this blog is titles Get Your Ex Back we really don't want to be exploring down that road. Even though their not fully considering your feelings, their only trying to relate to what they think is best for you, and sometimes......... they get it completely wrong! Try to explain to them calmly that you don't want to move on and that you really want to work on a way to bring your ex back to you. Now i know 1st hand that some friends can be pretty dense so if that fails then try to put a little distance between the two of you without completely barricading them out.
In conclusion I'd like to say that your friends are a big part of your life. They've changed the way you think and act..... hopefully for the better. So try to let them in on your problems and let them be there for you. Shutting your friends out completely solves nothing, it will only raise question as to whether their your friends or not and will generally make plenty of your every day situations awkward for you and them. It will sometimes cause a negative effect towards your other friends provide you socialize in a group. Try to be the bigger person by ignoring some of the selfish comments they come out with, after all perhaps they were aimed at you with the original motive to help you feel better. If it turns out they didn't help you in the slightest don't be afraid to tell them and actually point out to them where they are going wrong. Chances are that it was an honest stupid mistake and that they can correct their tone of manner. And most importantly....... Never forget who your friends are!
Well that's all for now, I hope that this article has helped you a little. Even if it's only help just a tinsy winsy bit.... then I'm proud to say Ive done my job.
Should you ever need to talk, I'm always here for ya ( unless I'm really really tired... GRRRRRR)
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com
Til next time
Your good friend
Dink
Tuesday 10 November 2009
The Right Frame Of Mind
As the title suggests, lets explore the area regarding the right frame of mind we should hopefully all be in. And if not already, how we can get there? Now I'm not going to prattle on like some 2ND rate MR. Miyagi, there will be no catching of flies with chopsticks... unless of course that's 1 of your favourite pass times. However i do think its important to sometimes take a step back from life and get a real good perspective of yourself, try to see things from a different angle.
Imagine a fly hovering in front of a mans face...(not sure why i seem to have flies on the brain today but just stay with me on this for a moment). The man in front seems huge, and makes the fly look so insignificant. The fly is so high up it can't even see the ground anymore. Being face to face with this giant figure things seem to look a bit hopeless for the fly. Then suddenly the fly decides to go a little higher.... then a bit further. Now the fly is way above the tree tops, certainly a lot higher than the man. Looking down on the man, he doesn't seem that big anymore. In fact he doesn't seem very big at all. Compared with the rest of the world around him, the man plays a small role in a part of something that is much bigger.
Now you don't need to tell me twice, i know that's a bit of a lame story, especially considering the fact its taken me about 15 minuets to word it out. But lets put ourselves in the position of the fly for a moment and try stepping back from our problems. This means stopping all the text messages that you've been bombarding your Ex with, stopping the Sherlock Holmes act, no more drunk phone calls at 2 AM. And certainly no more playing love songs on your acoustic guitar... c'mon... no one likes a soppy wet blanket. Lets take a step back from all of that and actually allow ourselves and the Ex some room to breathe.
Now that we've allowed everyone a bit of space. We need start making some progress in order to Win Back Your Ex. I find that a good start for this is to actually focus on some of the positives things you have going on in your life..... no, winning the egg and spoon race back when you were 5 doesn't count, lets try more recent. Take a few moments to go over some of the achievements you have made in your life, it really doesn't matter how big or small they may be, as long as you were the 1 who accomplished these things it should give you a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside..... and that my friend, is the warm glow of a positive achievement that you have made. Why don't we take a quick look at a few examples so we can get the ball rolling.
perhaps you have;-
Imagine a fly hovering in front of a mans face...(not sure why i seem to have flies on the brain today but just stay with me on this for a moment). The man in front seems huge, and makes the fly look so insignificant. The fly is so high up it can't even see the ground anymore. Being face to face with this giant figure things seem to look a bit hopeless for the fly. Then suddenly the fly decides to go a little higher.... then a bit further. Now the fly is way above the tree tops, certainly a lot higher than the man. Looking down on the man, he doesn't seem that big anymore. In fact he doesn't seem very big at all. Compared with the rest of the world around him, the man plays a small role in a part of something that is much bigger.
Now you don't need to tell me twice, i know that's a bit of a lame story, especially considering the fact its taken me about 15 minuets to word it out. But lets put ourselves in the position of the fly for a moment and try stepping back from our problems. This means stopping all the text messages that you've been bombarding your Ex with, stopping the Sherlock Holmes act, no more drunk phone calls at 2 AM. And certainly no more playing love songs on your acoustic guitar... c'mon... no one likes a soppy wet blanket. Lets take a step back from all of that and actually allow ourselves and the Ex some room to breathe.
Now that we've allowed everyone a bit of space. We need start making some progress in order to Win Back Your Ex. I find that a good start for this is to actually focus on some of the positives things you have going on in your life..... no, winning the egg and spoon race back when you were 5 doesn't count, lets try more recent. Take a few moments to go over some of the achievements you have made in your life, it really doesn't matter how big or small they may be, as long as you were the 1 who accomplished these things it should give you a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside..... and that my friend, is the warm glow of a positive achievement that you have made. Why don't we take a quick look at a few examples so we can get the ball rolling.
perhaps you have;-
- Passed a really hard exam
- Landed yourself a new job or even a promotion at your current job
- Donated something towards your favourite Charity
- Lost a couple of pounds so you can fit into them jeans you've been longing to wear
- Passed your driving test
- become a vegetarian.............????
- Quit your drug addiction in order to get your life back on the rails
- Maybe you just helped a little old lady get her cat down from a tree
If anyone could add to that short list you'd really be saving my bacon. It got really hard after the 3rd line.... guess I'm not blessed with spontaneous creative ideas... too bad....
Hopefully your list will look a little better than mine. But what I'm trying to say is that it really doesn't matter what the achievement was, or how big a deal or insignificant it may be. As long as it makes you feel good about you then that's all were aiming for. Something positive about YOU! Make sure you keep all these thoughts and feelings you experienced whilst thinking of them close to you. It's likely they could serve as your rock whilst going through this devastating ordeal that your going through.
I hope by now your starting to look at things in a different light, and perhaps feeling a little bit better about ourselves? It may not be an over night process and something that you may need to work on. Don't worry.... you'll get there in time, trust me. As long as you feel you've climbed a little further out that dark pit of despair and a bit more in touch with the world around you then i think it's safe to say you've made some slight progress.... for which i am happy for you. However for those that are having trouble with focusing on some of the good points in your lives, please try and keep it together for the sake of yourselves. I mean no one enjoys seeing someone whose world is crumbling around them. As long as you can find a bit of stability in yourself then i have total faith in you that you'll be totally fine.
Perhaps I'll do more on this section later on down the line for those of you that feel you need a bit of an extra boost. And next time i promise to leave out any mention of flies.... regardless of how relevant i feel they may be.
Please feel free to email me if you should ever need some one talk to... I'm here to listen
Til next time my friends
Keep your chin up and keep smiling
Your friend
dink
Monday 9 November 2009
First Steps
Like any good host i guess i should start by saying welcome. I'm sure that you finding this blog was by no accident, which can only mean your going through a really tough time. Let me say you are not alone, there are millions of people in the same boat as you right now. Things will get better whether you get back with you Ex or not. But since this blog is titled " Get Your Ex Back " perhaps we should focus on that option first.
Now don't get me wrong, this ain't gonna be a walk in the park. It's gonna take a lot of hard work! But then again don't they say " something worth having is never easy to get"? And ill be here to help you along every step of the way! So if your looking to make a positive change in your life, its time to put the lid back on the Ben & Jerry's and return it to the freezer, we got work to do!
Whatever the situation your in, and however far you've taken things already i think its important to cleans yourself of your old ties and start with a clean slate. If having a good cry is more your Cuppa Tea then find yourself a quiet tucked out the way spot and just let it all out (please be sure to close your curtains.... I'm sure you don't want the neighbours playing Chinese whispers about your business).
Now that you've swallowed that thick slab of heart ache.... you know, the one that resides in the back of the throat it's time to take a step back and evaluate ourselves. I think it's fair to say that there were specific reasons as to why you have been left in this current situation. Through out this blog we will go over these reasons so we can acknowledge what they are and find out how we can tackle them. Until then, hold your head up high.
Remember... Things will get better. It sometimes just takes a little time and patience. I shall always be here for you, should you ever need someone to talk to
cheering for ya
Dink
Now don't get me wrong, this ain't gonna be a walk in the park. It's gonna take a lot of hard work! But then again don't they say " something worth having is never easy to get"? And ill be here to help you along every step of the way! So if your looking to make a positive change in your life, its time to put the lid back on the Ben & Jerry's and return it to the freezer, we got work to do!
Whatever the situation your in, and however far you've taken things already i think its important to cleans yourself of your old ties and start with a clean slate. If having a good cry is more your Cuppa Tea then find yourself a quiet tucked out the way spot and just let it all out (please be sure to close your curtains.... I'm sure you don't want the neighbours playing Chinese whispers about your business).
Now that you've swallowed that thick slab of heart ache.... you know, the one that resides in the back of the throat it's time to take a step back and evaluate ourselves. I think it's fair to say that there were specific reasons as to why you have been left in this current situation. Through out this blog we will go over these reasons so we can acknowledge what they are and find out how we can tackle them. Until then, hold your head up high.
Remember... Things will get better. It sometimes just takes a little time and patience. I shall always be here for you, should you ever need someone to talk to
cheering for ya
Dink
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