Overcoming The FaceBook Problem

Hey folks, Just a quick 1 today. I recently got an email from a reader who needed a bit of advice. Maybe there are some people who are in a similar situation? Anyway lets read his story and explore a good course of action we could take. Now since i don't like to release ANY information regarding my readers unless they specifically request i do so, we are going to change his name and call him ummm...... Tom!

Tom recently got dumped by his girlfriend about 8 months into their relationship. Her reason was that she just wanted to explore different options in her life and try a different path. (Not the most graceful reason but i guess it's better than the classic "it's not you, it's me!" crap that seems to get thrown around a lot these days). From what i can make out, Toms girlfriend still wanted to be friends after the break-up. Even though this meant that he still got to speak and keep in touch with his EX it also worked as a double edge sword, meaning that everything that this poor guy has lost is now being shoved in his face. Maybe her intentions were good, i don't know. But receiving all this contact from his ex was just a constant reminder of what he had lost.
Tom realized this by himself and took the stand of initiating somewhat of a no contact policy... probably the best thing he could have done in my opinion. Despite his actions Tom was still receiving text messages, most of which were totally unrelated to the break-up. As an example and this being my personal favourite, 1 message said " my mom thought you were a really great guy". This was the last thing that Tom needed. Upon receiving these text messages he did fight the urge and simply ignored them. And that's sometimes a hard thing to do so..... Thumbs up!
Although now he is faced with a new problem. It would seem that his Ex is attempting to add him as a friend to her facebook account. This is where Tom contacted me asking for a bit of advice on what to do. He really doesn't want to accept her request and be reminded of all good times which they had once shared that are now gone. But at the same time he doesn't want to appear rude and spiteful. Especially due to the fact that he wants his Ex to come back to him.

So what should Tom do? And i wouldn't say that the answer is simple but i guess that it is straight forward. He cannot give in to what his girlfriend wants. Forgive me if it seems that I'm speaking out of term here but i think Toms girlfriend is just testing his emotions. Perhaps she wants to know that if she pulls hard enough on his strings if he'll go running back. This could likely be the case and as hard as it may be you need to keep a clear head and not get sucked in by it. As cruel to his Ex as it may sound he really does need to choose to ignore her request. By doing so it's cutting off old ties to the past relationship reducing a bit more of that pain and heartbreak.
Now I'm not saying to strip her from his mind completely. After all he wants nothing more than to be back together again with her. But keeping in mind this is a recent break-up and it won't do him any good to keep all those negative feelings fresh in him mind. And by accepting his Ex girlfriends facebook request this is exactly what he is doing. Instead he needs to have a period of time where he won't contacted by his Ex. This is mainly so he has time to emotionally heal but also, it allows time for his girlfriend to come to terms with what she has actually lost and maybe ponder to herself if it was such a good idea to break- up with Tom in the first place.

I see this as a classic step in order to get your Ex back. And i hope that Tom has the best of luck in doing just that! And that he can always count on me and the people from this blog to steer him in the right direction when such hurdles as the above story do crop up. I'd like to thank the individual that Tom represented for allowing me to publish his story on this blog in high hopes that it may help some of you guys. Thank you.

Wanted let you know that i emailed Tom back with the advice that I've shared here today. Just in case you were wonder if i left 1 of my readers hanging.... No Way!

If you have a similar problem to Toms then i hope that the above information could help you in some way. Keep in mind ( and i thought that this pretty obvious but ill tell you anyway) that this applies to not just facebook but to all social networking sites such as myspace, twitter etc. Well that's it from me since this was suppose to be a short message. But also because that I've just dropped sticky toffee pudding down my jeans and have to go and change.

As per usual don't hesitate to contact me if your going through a rough time. Ill always be here to help anyone and listen to them should need it. The address is below:
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com

Will keep it happy for ya
Your friend
Dink