Dealing with your friends

Having your friends beside you after a break up can either be the golden crutch of relief, just the thing you were looking for out of that metaphorical survival kit. Or Perhaps you see them as the biggest hindrance that could have possibly come along a this point in your life, Much like that auntie with the moustache that always expects a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe. However your friends come across really depends on their own behaviour and attitude towards life.

Regardless of how your friends act on a day to day basis, they obviously mean you their best intentions otherwise they wouldn't have invested their time to come and see how you were feeling. So stop and consider that thought for just a moment ( not too long tho as we've got a lot to cover! ) Fully depending on what stage your going through with your break up, maybe you don't want your friends constantly hanging on your arm draggin you to the ball game, or the whole "lets go bowling" suggestion. Perhaps you just want to stew in your own misery for a while? if that's the case then that's just fine. Sometimes it's good to close yourself off from the rest of the world for a SHORT amount of time so you can compose yourself, get things into perspective. But what do you do then? you have to pull back those curtains and let MR. Sun in at some point right?..... that's right! and the sooner you do the sooner you can start getting your life back together and cutting all these overwhelming problems that lurk over you into manageable bite size chunks.

What is a friend? A Friend is the person that cares for you the most, Someone to rely on and will always be there for you in your time of need. You should always trusts your friends. after all, you were one who made that judgment of character and made the effort to become friends in the first place right? It would serve you tremendously well to cast your mind back and try to remember the actual reason that made you become friends in the 1st place. If you never lose that reason, you'll never lose your friends.

How can your friends be there for you? I guess the answer on this 1 varies a little depending on what suits your needs. By asking them to respect your wishes whilst walking down this bumpy road i don't think you'll be going far wrong. And since their your friend I'm sure they'd be more than happy to accommodate for what you need them for the most. It's more than likely that 1 day your going to have to be the 1 to support them for 1 reason or another.

What does your friend need from you? More than anything your friends needs your honest feedback. When going through a tragic time such as breaking up your emotions can be all over the place... it's 1 hell of a roller coaster. It doesn't matter if you've been friends for decades, upon going through these tragic times you become a lot harder to read, there is no unspoken bond between you anymore. What you friend may be thinking about you could be the complete opposite to the way your actually feeling. Since that could very well be the case i think it's important to let them know the changes your going through. Explain to them how their going wrong when trying to make you feel better. The reason their going wrong is probably down to the fact that they are treating you like your old self and the thought that your a little more fragile than usual hasn't even crossed their mind.

They honestly mean well, so don't chop their head off when they come out with the most inconsiderate remarks such as: - "Your better off without them" or the classic "plenty of fish in the sea"....( as subtle as a bull in a china shop ). Since this blog is titles Get Your Ex Back we really don't want to be exploring down that road. Even though their not fully considering your feelings, their only trying to relate to what they think is best for you, and sometimes......... they get it completely wrong! Try to explain to them calmly that you don't want to move on and that you really want to work on a way to bring your ex back to you. Now i know 1st hand that some friends can be pretty dense so if that fails then try to put a little distance between the two of you without completely barricading them out.

In conclusion I'd like to say that your friends are a big part of your life. They've changed the way you think and act..... hopefully for the better. So try to let them in on your problems and let them be there for you. Shutting your friends out completely solves nothing, it will only raise question as to whether their your friends or not and will generally make plenty of your every day situations awkward for you and them. It will sometimes cause a negative effect towards your other friends provide you socialize in a group. Try to be the bigger person by ignoring some of the selfish comments they come out with, after all perhaps they were aimed at you with the original motive to help you feel better. If it turns out they didn't help you in the slightest don't be afraid to tell them and actually point out to them where they are going wrong. Chances are that it was an honest stupid mistake and that they can correct their tone of manner. And most importantly....... Never forget who your friends are!

Well that's all for now, I hope that this article has helped you a little. Even if it's only help just a tinsy winsy bit.... then I'm proud to say Ive done my job.

Should you ever need to talk, I'm always here for ya ( unless I'm really really tired... GRRRRRR)
Dinkmon360@hotmail.com

Til next time
Your good friend
Dink