Imagine a fly hovering in front of a mans face...(not sure why i seem to have flies on the brain today but just stay with me on this for a moment). The man in front seems huge, and makes the fly look so insignificant. The fly is so high up it can't even see the ground anymore. Being face to face with this giant figure things seem to look a bit hopeless for the fly. Then suddenly the fly decides to go a little higher.... then a bit further. Now the fly is way above the tree tops, certainly a lot higher than the man. Looking down on the man, he doesn't seem that big anymore. In fact he doesn't seem very big at all. Compared with the rest of the world around him, the man plays a small role in a part of something that is much bigger.
Now you don't need to tell me twice, i know that's a bit of a lame story, especially considering the fact its taken me about 15 minuets to word it out. But lets put ourselves in the position of the fly for a moment and try stepping back from our problems. This means stopping all the text messages that you've been bombarding your Ex with, stopping the Sherlock Holmes act, no more drunk phone calls at 2 AM. And certainly no more playing love songs on your acoustic guitar... c'mon... no one likes a soppy wet blanket. Lets take a step back from all of that and actually allow ourselves and the Ex some room to breathe.
Now that we've allowed everyone a bit of space. We need start making some progress in order to Win Back Your Ex. I find that a good start for this is to actually focus on some of the positives things you have going on in your life..... no, winning the egg and spoon race back when you were 5 doesn't count, lets try more recent. Take a few moments to go over some of the achievements you have made in your life, it really doesn't matter how big or small they may be, as long as you were the 1 who accomplished these things it should give you a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside..... and that my friend, is the warm glow of a positive achievement that you have made. Why don't we take a quick look at a few examples so we can get the ball rolling.
perhaps you have;-
- Passed a really hard exam
- Landed yourself a new job or even a promotion at your current job
- Donated something towards your favourite Charity
- Lost a couple of pounds so you can fit into them jeans you've been longing to wear
- Passed your driving test
- become a vegetarian.............????
- Quit your drug addiction in order to get your life back on the rails
- Maybe you just helped a little old lady get her cat down from a tree
If anyone could add to that short list you'd really be saving my bacon. It got really hard after the 3rd line.... guess I'm not blessed with spontaneous creative ideas... too bad....
Hopefully your list will look a little better than mine. But what I'm trying to say is that it really doesn't matter what the achievement was, or how big a deal or insignificant it may be. As long as it makes you feel good about you then that's all were aiming for. Something positive about YOU! Make sure you keep all these thoughts and feelings you experienced whilst thinking of them close to you. It's likely they could serve as your rock whilst going through this devastating ordeal that your going through.
I hope by now your starting to look at things in a different light, and perhaps feeling a little bit better about ourselves? It may not be an over night process and something that you may need to work on. Don't worry.... you'll get there in time, trust me. As long as you feel you've climbed a little further out that dark pit of despair and a bit more in touch with the world around you then i think it's safe to say you've made some slight progress.... for which i am happy for you. However for those that are having trouble with focusing on some of the good points in your lives, please try and keep it together for the sake of yourselves. I mean no one enjoys seeing someone whose world is crumbling around them. As long as you can find a bit of stability in yourself then i have total faith in you that you'll be totally fine.
Perhaps I'll do more on this section later on down the line for those of you that feel you need a bit of an extra boost. And next time i promise to leave out any mention of flies.... regardless of how relevant i feel they may be.
Please feel free to email me if you should ever need some one talk to... I'm here to listen
Til next time my friends
Keep your chin up and keep smiling
Your friend
dink
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